I have traveled to more countries than most people can name and more cities than i can begin to discuss, yet while my family just thought of me as the worlds youngest tourist/adventurer,the motivation behind my trips was more than
i could ever reveal to them...until now.
I grew up in a good family, solid roof over my head, plenty of friends, and never lacked anything maerialistic. Although i had everything a person could want at 18, I still felt as though I was lacking the most important thing-an understanding of who am I ? Isn't that what Socrates the most famous Philosopher said was the culmination of all his understanding; " Know thy Self." I searched from one end of the earth to the other that perhaps I would come to this conclusion.
I grew up in a good family, solid roof over my head, plenty of friends, and never lacked anything maerialistic. Although i had everything a person could want at 18, I still felt as though I was lacking the most important thing-an understanding of who am I ? Isn't that what Socrates the most famous Philosopher said was the culmination of all his understanding; " Know thy Self." I searched from one end of the earth to the other that perhaps I would come to this conclusion.
Why would God make me? People say that it is because
God has some purpose for us, as if God needed me for something. Others suggest that that we have created so that we may know God and glorify him.
God doesn't know He's God the Creator of the heavens and earth that he would created my to exalt him? I always wanted to believe in
God but without understanding why
God would create man and construct this world to be so lonely, painful, sorrowful and dark - then what kind of relationship would I have with him?
I remember screaming on tops of mountains to the empty sky " Why do u create us just to have us die in the end?" One night particularly stands out in my mind when i was at my weakest point. Sitting by the sea watching the sun set i wept, without the strengthen or valor to lift up my head, the sand absorbing my years of questions without resolution. When finally i asked God " What have i ever done wrong that you have afflicted me with the desire to know you. I seek you yet you hide your face from me. There is no use...no result...it is not your will to let me realize the truths of this life so i shall no longer continue this journey to know you i will just live like other common men a captive of this world."..Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free...
Heavenly Father Christ AhnShangHong and Heavenly Mother New Jerusalem thank you, for your never turned away from me the way i turned away from you. I've recounted my ways and you answered me. My soul was weary with sorrow yet you strengthened me according to your word. By your mercy you have streched out your hand and led me to the Church...of...God. I have choosen the way of truth; i have set your laws of love in my heart. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free. Father Ahn Sahng Hong, o'h Heavenly Mother of Mercey and Love, please remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope for the Kingdom of heaven.
My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. O Father Christ Ahn Sahng Hong and Mother preserve my life according to your love, and I will obey the statues of Your mouth. For the law comes from Zion
but the word of God from Jerusalem, Our Mother.
